I’ve started this post every day for a week and I just can’t seem to actually write it.

We said goodbye to Jiminy on Wednesday morning. He’s free. He’s pain free. It was the 100% the right decision.

But, I’m completely struggling with his loss. More than I ever expected.

I’m not traumatized, I don’t regret the decision, but I just don’t feel at peace. Not even close. It didn’t feel easy, he didn’t feel like he wanted to go and fought until the end to stay. He was a spitfire even in his last moments just like in life.

Jiminy joined us in at the end of July 2015. He helped fill the void left by Hayley.

He was immediately Subi’s best friend. He idolized Subi. He and Batt tolerated each other–on a good day, and hated each other–on a bad day. But Subi? Subi was his best friend. He’d follow him around. Play halter tag/face tag with him. He’d use him as a rain shelter (literally. he’d stand UNDERNEATH him. Subi did not care). He’d help himself to Subi’s feed (Subi was happy to share). He just worshiped the ground on which Subi walked.

When we lost Batt, he stayed as close to Subi as he could though it wasn’t necessarily enough. But, in the end, after Nay Nay joined the family, Subi and Jiminy were glued together again until Subi’s last days.

Nay Nay and Jiminy were never that close. Jiminy was the pesky little brother who was always eating Nay Nay’s food. But, Nay Nay always needed to know where he was. They generally stayed close. Very close. And enjoyed the same hobby. Food. Despite annoying each other (it went both ways), they got along very well. Nay Nay may have been a bully but Jiminy was a little pest and earned most of the shit he got (which…wasn’t much). They mostly played musical hay cubes, at hay, and napped. After we let him go, I walked Nay Nay over and he just stood over Jiminy, staring at him for a good 10 minutes or so. It was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever witnessed.

It wasn’t all sunshine with Jiminy. He learned the art of escapology in his early years with us. I can remember being in Seattle and my marriage almost ending when Jiminy was running loose and my husband couldn’t catching not once, not twice, but three times. It was only then that he listen and left him in the shed with the gate closed until I returned. He is the reason for all the electric wire and extra fencing. He also learned that his muzzle is a good tool to tear apart electric fencing without getting shocked.

Jiminy hated water. And rain. Give him a bath and die. Truly. For a pony that loved being groomed, he hated baths. And he loved his blankets. I made an early mistake of not blanketing and then it rained. He would try and kick you in the head if he wasn’t wearing a blanket. Toss one on? Happy boy. We ultimately compromised and clipped and blanketed and he was the happiest pony in the world.

I could write more about all his struggles with IR, cushings, laminitis, winter founders, etc., but what is there to say? His body fought against him. For a mini in perfect weight, he just wasn’t meant to be here any longer than 13 years.

Goodbye Jiminy. Be free. Be pain free. Be with Subi. I’ll miss you always.

In a very quick attempt to find Nay Nay a new buddy, I spent the last few days hunting Facebook leads. I initially found a mare 3 hours away that looked promising, but I had reservations. I ended up posting an ISO add and ended up overwhelmed with responses. In the end, I looked a mare who I liked a lot, but she was also a mare.

I also reached out to MidAtlantic and they suggested Megacity. He was a quiet warhorse by City Zip, stakes placed, 9 years old, with earnings of nearly $500,000. My requirements were a horse that my husband could lead around. Somehow this translated to, Megacity would be quiet enough for your husband to walk around on.

Oooookay. I set up an appointment to see him on Sunday.

When they said he was quiet, they weren’t kidding. He was quiet. Very quiet. Classy and quiet. I haven’t ridden in a year and he didn’t care. Just took care of me and that was that. In the barn after, a horse kicked the stall grate and we all jumped — except Megacity. He just stood there and ignored it all. Anyway, on the way home, I decided he needed to come home with me.

I picked him up today. He was in a stall when I arrived just hanging out. He was so quiet I didn’t even realize he was there. Evidently? That’s just who he is and who he’s been since he retired in June.

We got home and Nay Nay was very… emotional. Megacity, now Cairo, took one look at this nutty horse walked away to eat and more or less ignored him until he got over himself. Later, when Nay got his emotions in check and calmed down? The two happily snacked on hay together. No squealing, no kicking, no drama (other than Nay Nay). Just Cairo being Cairo.

Stay tuned for more updates, but for now, welcome home Cairo!

Typing on my phone because I’ve thought about blogging and keep talking myself out of it. But maybe if I just word vomit? I’ll post.

I’ll keep this 100% horse related though I’m sure I could expand. Choosing not to right now.

I left off with Jiminy’s struggles and not much has changed. If I’m being completely honest, in some ways he’s gotten better and in other ways, he’s gotten worse. I’m really at the point of throwing up my hands and giving up.

I don’t quite remember where I left off, but Jiminy is dealing with Cushing’s, heaves, and IR. The Cushing’s is (thankfully) under control with a half a tab of prascend/day. Getting the prascend in him? Another story. 1 sugar free peppermint worked for a while but now it doesn’t. I got smacked (hard) in the face when dissolving it in water and had to pin him to the wall and force it down his throat. He’s better with 1Tbsp of no sugar applesauce but I’ve had enough people PM me to tell me that even 1 Tbsp that was approved by my vet would kill him that I accepted the concussion(s) that I got.

Anyway, his initial insulin levels were deathly high so we put him on Ertugliflozin. He improved. Sort of. Now he’s no longer deathly high. Just scary and/or dangerously high. He is only getting soaked hay and soaked hay cubes. Half his hay through a muzzle. Since we can’t stop feeding him (and he does not need to lose weight), we’re continuing down this path but MAY move to 100% hay cubes at some point.

On Saturday, we’re building him a small run so that we can remove the muzzle and better control/restrict his hay access while returning Nay to free choice unlimited hay. ideal? No. But we’re doing our best.

Anyway, we’re adding another medication. pioglitazone. It’s significantly cheaper than the Ertugliflozin so that’s something? But it’s too soon to tell if adding in the new medication will help. Jiminy is sick of getting stuff squirted down his throat.

I’m also at the point where I’m spending 1k/month on medications (he’s on ventipulmin which is $$$$) and bloodwork and he is not improving. All my reserves are gone. I’m giving him 2 months to make progress before I make a decision unless he makes a turn the other direction…

His breathing still isn’t good but it’s better than it was and at this point I’m taking it.

Anyway, hope that joyful update lifted your spirits.