Fearing the end.

I think my Hayley Horse is reaching the end. I’ve thought it before, but she’s dogged too many bullets and I am pretty sure this is it. I’m holding back tears and I type this. I’m not ready, but at the same time, I can’t keep holding on. It hurts more than I can describe.

Nothing necessarily happened, but maybe that’s the issue? I pulled blankets today because it’s going to be warm and rainy for a couple of days and I’d rather everyone be in rain sheets than in medium/heavy weights. Unfortunately, in the last couple of weeks, Hayley has dropped weight. Semi significant weight. She’s fed like crazy and eats like crazy, but she can’t hold on to the weight any more. We’ve had some scares and she always pulls through, but she’s eating her weight gain regiment and she’s still loosing.

My Hayley has issues. Navicular, arthritis, and chronic diarrhea. She’s got horrible hooves and soundness issues, but she’s the world’s sweetest horse. She used to be an easy keeper but somewhere in the last few years, following a founder scare, life has just been hard. Her diarrhea has gotten worse and keeping weight on her has been hard. Now I fear it’s impossible. She looks bad. If she came out of winter looking like this, we’d have a chance. But going into winter? No way. Right now she gets almost 10lbs of triple crown senior, almost 10lbs of alfalfa cubes (pre-soaked weight), beet pulp, and about 1.5lbs of Buckeyes Ultimate Finish fat supplement. She also gets (mostly) free choice hay (free choice when a round bale is out, 20-30lbs of hay in between round bales). She’s the low end of the herd, but she’s locked up during meal times and she doesn’t leave the hay pretty much ever. There is only so much I can do.

Before I make any decisions, I’m going to give the vet a call in the morning and schedule an appointment to get blood pulled. Maybe she’s anemic. Maybe she has thyroid issues. But my gut says this is unlikely (though I can certainly hope). All I know is she can’t go into winter looking like this. But, I’m not ready to say goodbye. There’s only one Hayley Horse. I love my boys to death, but they don’t have the sweetness Hayley possesses.

Weekend Catchup

It’s been a busy weekend (and week for that matter). But, then again, it always is.

Friday night, Erik and I went to Philly to see Newsies. I absolutely love musicals and have wanted to see Newsies for quite a while. I missed it on Broadway, but I’m glad the tour officially opened in Philly and I got to see it. Loved it. So worth the ticket price even though I can’t really afford to spend right now (which of course has me spending money). If you have a chance to see Newsies, DO IT!

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Jumping away from the weekend to Thursday, I worked Thursday night which left me time to ride Thursday morning. It was a nice day too which helped. Because Erik already left for work, I decided to ride Batt. He’s reliable and I try no to ride Subi when no one is home. Batt is safe Safe SAFE and at least I know he won’t spook whereas Subi… Nonetheless, it wasn’t a fun ride. I got on Batt who was in a mood and decided to do my 2 point in the round pen. Batt wasn’t feeling it at all. He didn’t feel lame a the walk, but didn’t want to move forward. We fought, a lot, all in 2 point. I asked for a forward pace he cantered. I woahed him back, we halted. Lots of fights. I eventually gave in and decided just to deal with the terrible pace until I got out of 2 point. I survived for 12:18.96. I’m sure I’d have made it longer if I wasn’t fighting my horses, but it got to the point that I could deal any more with leg hold crop crap and my calves and back were killing me and I sat down. But I made my original goal of 10 minutes. After 2 point hell, I decided to leave the round pen. Grumpy however was being stupid, again, and didn’t want to stand while I undid the gate chain. More fighting until he realized we were going to leave and stood… That horse. I thought a trot up the hill would cheer him up (strange horse loves hills, especially galloping up them). Unfortunately, he didn’t feel right at the trot. Not lame necessarily, but weird so I walked after a couple strides. Batt was looking longingly at the development across the street so despite the off feel, we went for a short walk which he enjoyed. But his slow pace was just off. I decided to trot again and immediately could tell he was off on his right hind so we walked home (since he seemed ok a the walk). He had some heat in the hoof and based on how he was standing, I was fairly sure an abscess was brewing. He was way gimpier Saturday and I’m sure my diagnosis was right. He’s doing his abscess stand/walk and is otherwise happy and no heat in the leg… Hope it blows soon!

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Moving ahead to Saturday, it was rainy and miserable. Based on the pending weather, I threw sheets on everyone Friday night. Of course, Saturday morning, Batt had some tears in his hastily repaired sheet so I repair my only other sheet and threw that on Saturday night (Saturday morning duck tape didn’t stick with the rain). Erik and I threw out a round bale first thing in the morning in the dark at 6:30am. Batt parked himself in front of it after breakfast and didn’t move until dinner while Subi and Hayley sulked about the rain, cold, and wind…. Due to the rain, I didn’t teach. I had a lot to do and instead spend most of the day on the sofa with my puppies. They loved it! (I did too).

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This morning I went out early to teach. Horses were good despite the cold and crazy wind. After a quick trip to my mom’s to pick up her supplied alfalfa cubes and beet pulp (and a quick visit with her puppies), I had a 2 person trail ride. Really nice pair and despite the wind, they had a nice time. I took Peyton out instead of Heidi and it was nice just to be riding something dead quiet. He was a good boy. Unfortunately, my right hip kept cramping up during the ride and it’s still bothering me a bit. I did realize how easy short bursts of 2 point are though! I guess all of this 2 pointing has paid off!

Now I’m home and it’s dark outside. I really need to start dinner, but the sofa, quilt, and dogs are so much better!