Another week, another blog post?

Throughout August, I was following the 1 ride a week routine. I wasn’t feeling well (let me tell you, vestibular migraines are the worst kind of hell), but I mostly forced myself on once a week. Mostly? I walked. Walking was good. Trotting sucked. Cantering didn’t make me want to pass out. But, in order to canter? I had to trot.

For the most part, this worked. We walked. We worked on bending and building muscle. Nay was super good. If I felt good we did a tiny amount of trotting and then cantered a lap each direction. Otherwise we just walked.

2 weeks ago Nay just wasn’t feeling it. He was GREAT at the walk and then promptly had enough. Of course this coincided with other horses joining us in the ring, a puppy playing under the deck, and me not putting on Nay’s sound muffling bonnet. Nay decided that this was just too much to handle. We could NOT go anywhere near the deck. We did a lot of backing and a spin or two and were generally an utter turd. I managed to get my trainer’s daughter to walk us past the deck twice and it was fine. And then a few minutes later? Turd mode. At this point my vertigo was in full force and all stimulation was…not helping. Nay thought the pony having a lesson (basically walk trot) was the best thing to… spook at because of course he did. Mostly, he was bored and needed a good butt kicking. At this point, one of the girls who works for the other trainer offered to hop on when she untacked her ride after one more spin, I hopped off (and then almost fell over from dizziness) and we waited.

And that was probably the best choice. He was actually a good boy though she admitted that he has a really good spin to him (yep! He won’t buck you off, but he is quick with the spin). But, after a couple smacks with the crop that he deserved, Napalm learned that it is MUCH EASIER to trot past the deck vs spook at it. Way less work. And with that? He was good. He trotted, cantered, and picked up both leads. He needed the work.

The following week (this past weekend), I was feeling better, but decided not to push my luck. I lunged and then hopped on. Nay said way too much work, but was utterly perfect. Again, he picked up his leads and his canter was lovely. We trotted a tiny fence to end. Nothing major (we were both exhausted), but we jumped for the first time in a month. More of a miracle? We rode Sunday too. We’ve been struggling with the left bend (this was our good way, but we’ve improved to the right so much) so I ended up adding a left spur and it made all the difference. We also rode with 2 pony kids and usually I end up not doing much when the kids are in the ring because kids. But, the one was actually told to stop chasing me and stay out of my way so she doesn’t get kicked (Nay doesn’t kick, but “stay out of my way” didn’t resonate where as “don’t get kicked” seemed to) and I had a lovely ride. They let me canter solo (I have no issue cantering if I know where others are going, but I can’t do the 3-ring circus stuff (especially during a vestibular episode–Sunday was definitely verging on one)) and I popped over a small fence at the trot twice and canter once to end.

Monday I felt beat up. I didn’t have it in me to haul out to ride. So I pulled a page from Stacie’s book and decided on a bareback snack hack. Nay HATES riding at home and decided to be Napalm for a while, but eventually after grazing near his friends, he calmed down and I felt safe enough to hop on….except I couldn’t figure out how. I tried stacked buckets. Nope. A ledge. No. Eventually, not wanted to die, grabbed my mounting block, carried it down by the other boys, and got on, but seriously? Once I was on, we snacked more, walked some circles, and snacked for 15 minutes and then wandered to the trailer and halfway up the driveway. I need to do this more often because I think it’ll be less of an issue the more I do this. Anyway, way more work than I planned, but the actually sitting/snacking part was completely fine.

There was also an incident earlier in the week where Napalm left me with a bloody and potentially broken nose, but we’re not talking about that…

Long time, no blog. I have about 5 draft posts that I’ve started and not finished. The usual excuses, but mostly I just haven’t felt well for the last few weeks and blogging has taken a back seat.

But Subi? It appears he isn’t getting enough attention or financial interest from me. And he decided to change that.

Back in July I had the dentist out about a month early (5 months vs 6 months) since his teeth appeared to be bothering him. He had a molar we were watch. Yep. It was time for the tooth to come out. Fractured. Great, right? So, we scheduled that for early early August.

But before we could have that taken care of…

..we had to deal with hives.

I was treating his hives with benadryl and it WAS helping. Until it stopped.

On a really, really hot day, I found him coated in lots of hives, stocked up legs, and a swollen sheath.

And it was Saturday. Because OF COURSE it was Saturday. Nothing ever happens when it isn’t Saturday.

Thankfully I was able to get in touch with the vet on call and she had someone leave some meds out for me at the clinic and I was able to treat without a farm call. Subi was NOT impressed. I was also to cold hose, but Subi had other ideas and my life was more important than cold hosing. Between banamine, drugs, and benadryl, eventually the swelling and hives dissipated.

But back to teeth. We scheduled the vet and dentist to come out and had the tooth removed. It was broken in half, but in a streak of good luck, while the nerve WAS exposed, nothing reached the sinus cavity. Lots of pain, but the second it came out (with lots of drugs), Subi was feeling MUCH better. He lived in a drunk state for a little while until I gave him dose of banamine and then MAGICALLY the drugs wore off and he decided it was time for turn out. Only Subi. Thankfully he was great about letting me rinse his mouth out with a syringe for several days (they suggested a hose, but we agreed on the syringe–this was better than drugging him for the hose method).

Which brings us to more hives. Because why not? Thankfully I still had meds on hand. But Subi no longer eats benadryl. Though it appears he does eat benadryl inside an oatmeal cream pie…. Try it if you need a pill carrier…

And finally? The abscesses to end all abscesses. Or, the Sunday I thought I was going to have to put my horse down.

2 weeks ago, Subi developed an abscess in his front right hoof. It started to drain. Stopped. Started. Stopped. Started. Life was good. Then, Friday it stopped again and we were back to being gimpy again. Now, Subi isn’t sound. Ever. Not anymore. But he isn’t falling over lame either. So, I just went with it. And Sunday morning, I turned him out per usually. He was fine enough. Playing with Nay, rolling, etc. Which is why the following scared the crap out of me.

Around 1pm, my husband comes running inside, raids the oatmeal cream box, and tells me to get outside. “He’s not dead. But you need to get out here.”

Subi is flat on his side. Panting. Refusing/unable to get up. His gums have color but he won’t move. He won’t try and move. He’s just breathing really, really hard. I run back in for a thermometer. 100 even. He won’t eat the pie.

When my husband found him, Nay was curled up next to him and Jiminy was standing guard. Now Nay is up, poking him with his nose every few moments. Subi just keeps putting his head back down.

With my husband pulling, me pushing his back, we do get him up eventually. It felt like an hour. It was probably 10 minutes. At this point he’s trying not to put weight on either right hoof.

Abscesses. Right front AND right hind. WTF.

I decided to soak both feet in white lightning and then wrap (I have handy soaking boots that I never have used) and after soaking his hind, a huge chunk actually breaks off so yeah. I managed to wrap both hooves as well and stuffed them each in his easyboots to avoid duct tape. The hind was easy, but the front was rough as he refused to put much weight on the hind and pretty much made me shoulder most of his weight. Still feeling it days later.

Still, it’s 4 days later now and this morning he’s “sound” so it was worth it.

Anyway, enough Subi. Enough.

I had a very eye opening lesson this morning. I debated not blogging about it because, honestly? Everyone has opinions. But, at the same time, this is my horse, my journey, I can blog if I want to, right?

I approached my trainer about my current mindset. And let’s be real. I’m struggling. I need direction. Getting back into riding this spring after everything we went through from mid fall through March, taking it easy WAS the right choice. But, we’re both relatively healthy now. And now I NEED more to keep me motivated. Light and low-key is good for winter or when I feel like crap (which will be back, I’m sure, I have chronic health issues), but I actually am doing OK. So I basically said that.

Since we overhauled me position (still a work in progress), my trainer said that if Nay was her horse, she’d overhaul his body awareness to improve his flat work with an ultimately goal of teaching him his changes.

None of that, in and of itself is controversial. Or, at least I don’t think. But, my trainer is a believer of using draw reins and using them properly (hence my thoughts on not blogging).

See, I’m not against draw reins OR any other tool. But I want to know why I’m using it, how I’m using it, and I want to know that I’m using the tool properly. We used them briefly a year or so ago prior to me getting sick and I ended up not feeling comfortable using them on my own so I stopped. This time, there is no winter circuit so I should actually get some lessons IN the draw reins in between practice rides to reinforce the lessons rather than me just learning something once or twice and getting lost.

Anyway, we spent a good 1/3 to 1/2 of the lesson at the walk just work on bending and changing direction and changing the bend back and forth while being aware of the bend and avoiding the counter bend. Plus, maintaining a marching walk. We weren’t focused on the hind end today, just the front end, the forward, and the bend. It was a good way to see that tugging my inside hand back really DOES get him unstuck. I’ve been told this constantly, but I only seemed to get it today. Plus, as always, inside hand to belly button to around turns which is finally becoming second nature.

Next, we moved the trot and applied the same thing with less turns and change of direction. But, the same idea. Interestingly enough, we’re far better bent to the left than the right. I like the left, but Nay’s been better to the right recently? Whatever. We started loose with a tighter braided rein just emphasizing FORWARD (key of the day). Then shortened the draw rein slightly. The goal here was to maintain the bend (easy to the left, harder to the right, but we got that) AND maintain forward. So, it was shorten and leg forward so that we emphasized that shortening the draw rein didn’t mean to slow. Praise (I had to find a word other than good boy since that = halt… er. “Yes” seemed to work well). Then do it again. We started VERY long so we never getting him short, but rather working with him to feel the contact and such. He definitely was not upset by it and less confused by the end.

Finally, we tried the same at the canter. Just on a half circle each direction. We started to the right, his good canter direction where we picked it up and promptly lost it… but after recollecting were successful. Interestingly enough, the right was HARD, I had to work hard. Granted, he was very much on his front end and not using his hind end which we’ll be addressing next lesson next week, it was a lot of work. To the left where we’ve been 50/50 with picking up the lead? Easiest canter transition I’ve had in forever. All the bending we did early on, he just stepped right into it and I never felt like I was going to lose the canter. Usually I struggle to keep the left but not today.

So my homework is to practice primarily at the walk and trot like today. Then toss in a couple half circles at the canter. We’ll regroup next week and go from there, bringing the hind end into our training.

I’ve been struggling with this blog lately. I haven’t really known what to write. My rides have either been decent or I’ve been riding a ball of tension. I’m not entirely sure what to make of it. Overall, I’ve just been in a bit of a rut. And, when I’m in a rut, I struggle with motivation to ride which makes the problem…worse?

I’ve had some good and some bad rides, but mostly I’m just struggling TO ride.

Between the weather (hot and rain and storms) and health (fly spray chemical burns and vaccine reactions — Nay is a hothouse flower plus me having some fun allergic reaction some sort of insect bite), I have not ridden consistently over the last several weeks. The less I ride, the harder it is to ride.

Over the last few months, I’ve taken fewer lessons, taking off the pressure. But, at the same time, I think I’m in a place where I need lessons to force me to ride? Or a ring at home. Since the home arena isn’t happening, lessons it is. I have one this week and 2 next week. Hopefully, this will be enough to get me back on track?

Anyway, riding now, good or bad I’m trying just to ride. And good or bad, useful or pointless, I’m also trying to blog.