Honestly, I don’t have any idea what I’m doing. And this is going to be a media-less post because I just don’t have any. I do have pictures of a new car because there’s an entire story about my car getting rear-ended by a Mennonite (and private Mennonite church insurance) as part of a 4 car incident), but that’s a story for another day…

Anyway, due to car-crap, work, and life, I rode Friday, Sunday, and then took a lesson on Tuesday (yesterday). Friday Nay Nay was pretty incredible. Nay was quiet. We were 100% alone which… isn’t safe, but, feeding time was soon and I figured if something was going on someone would find me. So bad, but since Nay was feeling so trustworthy, I did whatever I needed to do. My routine is that I do lunge before riding so I felt comfortable to get on but even trotting around, Nay was just… perfect.

After a nice trot, I actually warmed up over our boogie fence from my previous lesson first at the trot, then cantered it a few times. He was great. No crow hopping, no resistance. He was a tiny bit speedier at the canter, but mostly I think it was because I was a touch loose.

From here? We moved to the canter and cantered both leads. Then I worked Nay hard over the small fence at the end of the ring. It was tiny (12-18″ no standards) first at a trot, then cantered circles over it several times, working on maintaining a steady pace, shortening when I needed to, working on the turn, and all that jazz. Interestingly, while Nay bends SO MUCH BETTER to the right, I am so much more comfortable to the left. So the exercise was easy to the left, harder to the right. As a result, we worked harder to the right.

Feeling tight, we went back to the exercise from the last lesson (the rollback to the jump I warmed up earlier). The first jump wasn’t an issue, never is. BUT, Nay tried to pull his antics to the second, but I was tight, confident to the second (we DID jump it several times) and closing my outside leg, Nay groaned and jumped it without actually having much of a fit. We did this a few more times and the only issue was he was speedy on the landing, but no problem arose again with the approach. I THINK the issue is when Nay gets tired or decides he’s done? He says haha nope. But once he realizes he needs to work, he gives up. My confidence plays a role too.

Sunday I wasn’t feeling it. He was a spooky mess, but we rode and everything was fine. I just wasn’t feeling it. We went through the motions. Just nothing to write home about. I didn’t push it, but it was fine. Nay did nothing bad, but I just didn’t enjoy anything (the days you ride because you should not because you want to?).

Which brings us to Tuesday. The weather sucked. Nay was a touch tight? I lunged outside and he was wild. Then we came in the indoor where my trainer was finishing a training ride and Nay proceeded to almost jump me off. Basically she picked up the canter and Nay decided to jump and spin and spin and jump. I hopped off and Nay Nay proceeded to stand like a PERFECT GENTLEMAN and try and snuggle. Bastard.

When my trainer finished her ride (filled with antics), I turned down the opportunity for a brief free-lunge/chase around the indoor and jumped back on. Obviously Nay had my number. We started off trotting and man was there tension and we were determined to ride out the freaking tension. We trotted. Faster. Faster. Faster. Nothing I did was fast enough. We got there. I had to stop pulling with my left hand (it appears I pull with that hand). But we trotted forever, ultimately at speed. Then we cantered, first to the right.

The right was interesting. Nay was still full of tension. We picked up the lead and held it until he decided that he wasn’t at all interested in the right lead and swapped and suddenly we were on the left lead. “I don’t care.” was my trainer’s view point so we continued counter-cantering for about 5-6 minutes as fast as Nay wanted to go. This tired the shit out of him and once we was quiet, I trotted a step and we continued on the correct lead for several more minutes. The goal was canter as fast as he wants on down the long side and allow him to collect down the short side.

We trotted a quick change of direction and cantered AGAIN, this time to the left. The left was… interesting. There was a touch of tension but this was my fault. I was pressing my spur into him (my saddle was moving a touch — I was using a fuzzy girth vs his preferred professional choice girth) so he kicked the wall and then had a tantrum… twice. But, the key with Nay is that, in this case, he WAS trying to do what I asked. Spurs (this time my left spur) told him to move his hocks over) and he did, into the wall. He realized that wasn’t the right reaction so he got upset because he wasn’t sure what I wanted. He may buck/crow hop, but he does NOT try to get me off. Never. That isn’t ever his goal. I’m not the stickiest rider, but I never feel like he’s trying to get me off. Subi? Yeah. Nay, nope.

So we kept the canter while focusing on the placement of my leg. OMFG. So hard. Basically overcompensating knee in, heel out. It was…extreme. But we got it. And eventually walked. We did finish with a few small jumps which were of no issue.

We stopped chatted awhile about anxiety. Mine, Nay’s. While I sat with my feet out of the stirrups showing how relaxed we both were…

My trainer brought up ulcers and suggested I either treat or scope. He’s lost some weight and is more reactive, but I think the weight is more due to weather and all the grass gone. I need to up feed. Nay tends to stop eating when he has a flare (he stops eating hay and/or feed and he’s still eating). He might just need winter rations to make up for less grass. He is much quieter outside of lessons vs lessons and he’s always reactive during rainy/gross weather. I’ll toss him on some ulcer meds (he’s on preventatives so I DON’T think we’re dealing with ulcers) vs scoping as he’ll respond in a couple of days if its ulcers.

The big problem is… me. I get crazy nervous for lessons. I tense up. I need to release tension because Nay feeds off me. We ride on our own, especially when the rings are empty? Nay is a puppy dog. No tension. Just a lesson horse. But, we warm up differently. We lunge, yes, but we walk around on a loose rein for a while until I want to trot (5, 10, 15, 20 minutes depending on the day). We trot FOREVER. 20 minutes, sometimes more. First slow. Then faster. Lots of change of rein. Circles of all sizes. By the time we move on, we’re both relaxed and happy.

It’s hard to do this kind of warm up before a lesson just due to real life (I usually ride during the day during my lunch break), but I’m going to see if I can get on and just walk around for 20 minutes and work on relaxing. I think my nerves are setting us both up for failure. For some reason, lessons make me nervous. They always have. Every trainer, every horse. Even lessons on RANGER ffs. And that horse was a saint.

So yeah. How do we fix me?

Long time no post. That’s my new theme.

I just haven’t had all that much to say.

I’ve been dealing with the usual vertigo, migraines, and then someone pulled a shoe… So there was an unplanned vacation. And remnants of hurricane Ida rolled through and a tornado touched down in my small little town about 2 miles from my house. No damage here, but lots of damage nearby.

Despite all those interruptions, Nay Nay and I have actually made massive progress. While his left lead isn’t what I’d call reliable, it’s not a fight. We can and do pick it up every ride.

Since that awful lesson a few weeks ago, his lead has been pretty solid. In fact, I’ve found that as long as I set him up properly, he can and will pick up the lead. Shocking, right?

So what do we do?

First, it all starts at the walk and trot. In the (not so distant) past, I’d ALWAYS do a long warm up with lots and lots of circles, but my warm up wasn’t necessarily efficient. Now the goal of our time at the walk and trot is to make sure Nay is responding to leg/spur. If I use my left leg/spur, he’d better move over and off my leg immediately. It’s not a request, it’s a demand. If I ask him to bend, he bends. It’s amazing that once I stopped being wishy washy and started setting him up, everything else fell into place. So, at the walk and trot we established the correct shape, moving off my leg, holding the bend through corners and circles of all sizes, etc.

Next? I started holding a crop. I don’t NEED a crop, but the crop actually makes me more aware of where my hands are. It’s helped a lot. I stopped with the crop because I worried that Nay would get fast (I worry too much) but the damn crop doesn’t make him fast. Just like the spurs don’t make him fast. He doesn’t care. I use the crop more when he’s in the cross ties and won’t stop pawing. To him the crop is a tool, not something that tells him to speed up. So yeah. I find that I can use it against his neck as an anchor point when I need to remind myself hands to the outside and it helps with the bend and indirect rein. I also find that it helps me keep my hands closer together and lower. Why? I don’t know. I guess so I don’t have the crop swinging all over the place? Plus, if we do get into trouble, I can actually use it vs kicked or smacking him with my hand.

Finally, when I actually ask for the canter? 3 major things. Don’t rush. It doesn’t matter how well he’s set up if I rush, I will fail. Hands to the outside (Nay does start to anticipate at this point so we’re going to have to ultimately work through this piece). And finally, outside leg WAY WAY WAY back and tap with the spur. This is key. It tells him to get his back legs in and now is also his command to canter. At this point, most of the time if I just bring my leg back, Nay will launch into the canter. But the placement of my outside leg has been a game changer.

In my lesson yesterday, my trainer was actually impressed at how good his canter looked. Both leads actually. He fights going into the canter. Kind of a “I don’t want to! Groan, grunt, snort. Fine, I’m doing it, I’m so happy!” It’s funny. The fight is getting there. Getting to do what he doesn’t want to do. Once he gets over the hurdle? He doesn’t care. The fight usually makes you think, is it pain? But with Nay it’s more an attitude thing. He’s SO sound right now. We’ll get to this more in a moment.

We spent a little while cantering a circle over this tiny stone wall at the end of the ring. It was maybe 12″? But it was a good chance to work on maintaining the left lead and also the pace of the canter. Nay tried to play a bit in the corners (he was being a bit extra), but otherwise it was no big deal.

Next we worked on stringing together 2 easy jumps in a figure eight. First trotting and halting after each and then maintaining the trot throughout. We had moved down to the scary end of the arena (down by the road where people were mowing across the street), but generally while I care, Nay doesn’t. He’s a lot of things, but spooky isn’t one of them.

We walked up to look at the first jump which honestly pissed him off. He’s kind of over that practice. Lol. And then trotting to it he started crowhopping like a fool. It wasn’t the jump. Instead of continuing, I circled to get my balance, but I should have kept going. My mistake. But we reapproached, crowhopping and all, and popped over it. The jump was fine. He didn’t actually even overjump. He doesn’t do that anymore. And halted without issue. Then we tried to trot to the next fence and scooted and crowhopped and tried to pull out all the stops as we headed towards jump 2. We stopped and then managed to turn towards it, antics and all, and hop over it. Again, the jump was fine. It wasn’t the jump. On the landing, Nay got his head between his knees and had a party, but we halted. Rinse and repeat. Approach to the first jump the second time was fine. Turns out he wasn’t going to fight that one. And we halted and continued. The second AND third times to jump 2 were more of the same. He was slightly better on the landing the third time and I continued to hold a conversation with him hoping it would help (maybe it did? I was told to talk to him so I told him to stop being an idiot because I didn’t appreciate in the kindest softest voice possible). Finally on the 4th attempt we skipped the halt and maintained a better trot without any crow hops on approach or landing! The next time we added in a 3rd jump, trotting a broken line. We ended by holding the canter through the last 2 jumps.

In the end my trainer was impressed by how brave Nay has gotten over fences. Honestly? He LOVES to jump. I said that most of our issues come when we trot into things. He’s fine trotting but that’s when the crow hops happen or he anticipates. She said that picking up the canter is the thing that he fights so once he is cantering? He has nothing left to fight. Right now all of this is a training issue. He’s a moderate bully, kind of like a middle schooler. He’s trying to figure out what he can get away with. He’s trying to employ scare tactics to get out of work. He’s not trying to get me off his back. At no point in his crow hopping extravaganza was he ever trying to get me off his back. He wanted to get out of work. When we kept going despite the scare tactic? He stopped immediately.

Lesson here? Be brave and he’ll knock it off. He’s testing the waters to see what he can do and what he can get away with. He’s cheeky but he’s not mean. He’s not a bad bully, but he’s a bit of a bully.

That said, we are going to try a different bit. Just an elevator for a little bit. Same double jointed mouth piece he likes, but our hope is that the leverage will help me when he gets his head down or when he gets super heavy. I also need to tighten his noseband again… Oops. I keep it really loose but evidently too loose.

I finally had my first lesson in… close to 2 months? yesterday. Last week was cancelled due to a medical emergency on my trainer’s part and I didn’t manage to reschedule due to… work. This week? We FINALLY managed to get a lesson in. Hopefully I’ll have a couple of lessons before the Pony Finals hiatus…

It’s interesting. My rides over the past 3-4 weeks have been great. Nay Nay has been a saint. Truly. He’s been quiet. And, if we’re being honest, he’s been a big old lesson pony, pretty much just carting me around. And yet we take a lesson and everything falls apart.

Why? Because somehow I overthink everything and Nay Nay feeds off of my nervous energy. Or at least that is my interpretation of it.

We have not missed ONE left lead in about a month and yesterday we struggled to pick up the left lead. I just could not pick it up. Why? No clue. We rode with 2 others in the ring and I think I was more focused on what they were doing than what I was doing. I really need to focus on myself, but sometimes it’s just hard. It’s not like Nay Nay was taking off with me or being stupid (he wasn’t), we just COULD NOT pick up the correct left lead. And then it got into my head. So, I’ll need to work on that. We struggled some to the right, but picked that one up a lot more easily? It seems with the right lead, as long as I can get him loose and bendy, we can USUALLY get it. The left? No idea. It’s usually just there unless it’s a day where it isn’t.

We worked simply with our outside line. Starting off just trotting the out on a half circle. Then, we tried to canter on the left lead over it. After failing about a million times, we just let Nay Nay canter into it on the wrong lead and then, thankfully, he realized how off balance he was and landed correctly and we continued and cantered over it a few times on the correct left lead.

Next, we trotted in and cantered out of the line the other way and landed on the right lead. With all the issues I’ve had with the right lead, I don’t know that I’ve actually ever cantered in this line, but we landed, held our canter and cantered the line once or twice improving our landing and corner the second time through. Can I just say how much I adore this horse? He is SO STABLE over jumps. He doesn’t care if I miss a distance, he doesn’t get upset if he gets hit in the mouth, he just wants to jump. He is starting to understand what holding means and is happy to go for the add (even though he loves the long one) if I ask. And he’s just getting so consistent. Cantering in to a jump with him no longer feels scary like it used to now that his canter is getting consistent. And, all those trot fences are starting to pay off with his consistency at the canter.

Having conquered the line to the right, we did the same to the left. Trotting in first, landing correctly, and cantering in. Trotting in was lovely. Cantering in was nice too, but whether it was me or Nay just getting tired, I don’t know and we took the rail down over the in. I’ve noticed that sometimes Nay gets a touch lazy over the smaller fences and doesn’t always pick up his feet unless I really add leg at the base. It’s not because he doesn’t know how, but more because it’s small and why put in effort? He usually clears the boxes and doesn’t bother with the top rail. Raise the top rail or put 2 rails up? No issue at all. But less and he puts in minimal effort which means I have to work harder…

All in all, it was a good lesson. I just need to focus on me and not everyone else in the ring. I seriously found myself staring at others when I should have been looking between Nay’s ears. Not good, not good. And the one time I did focus 100% on me, I almost crashed into another horse… So then I became even more hyper aware of the others… Why is this sport so mental? I’m so convinced he’s going to react when lately he really doesn’t care. Nay LOVES summer heat.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure that all my problems this lesson were self-inflicted… We’ll see if I can improve from here…

Not too much going on here. Or at least no media. I’ve ridden and failed to charge my pivo since the battery died 2 weeks ago… Great, right?

Our rides have been pretty consistent. Nay has energy and I’ve had to pretty much ride through it. The deal is he needs more work than I’ve given him and I don’t currently have the time to fit in an extra day or 2 right now. Honestly, 2 days/week of PT is really helping out my schedule… I’ll get there eventually. But, we’re figuring it out.

Right now I lunge and/or free lunge pre ride. Saturday I free lunged and he was good but still felt like a canon about to explode. I wanted to pop over a couple jumps and, well, Nay launched into jumper mode. Up and down motion vs forward. So, I hopped off, lunged (30 minutes INTO my ride), and then got back on. He was an angel, shrinking back down to his normal size…

Sunday I rode with friends. He was quiet on the line, but a bit bothered by one horse we were riding with. We worked through it but we did canter a bunch of 10 meter circles to get over ourselves… After that? Much quieter. Honestly? It was more theatrics vs anything else, but based on where my friends were standing, Nay’s attitude, and his… exuberance, I felt the 10 meter circles were safer than trying to pass friends and risk kicking. Nay isn’t a kicker… most of the time. Unless he’s pissed off or feels boxed in. He was MUCH better over his fences (we just trotted some little stuff) and didn’t fall into jumper mode. Supposedly he actually resembled a hunter?

Which brings us to the point of this post. The dead horse.

I got out early on Tuesday for my lesson with a goal to lunge. I started to and had a quiet horse. But, see, things don’t go as planned.

I plan for a lot of situations.

But does anyone plan for a dead horse? Or, more accurately

A horse being gelded outside of the barn during your lesson?

So, here I am, holding Nay when suddenly a horse is sedated and on the ground, then on his back with legs flailing.

Nay’s response?

WTF? They’re MURDERING HIM. HORSE MURDERERS.

My trainer was not in a rush and suggested I lunge some more. Now Nay had energy and I got some good work out of him at the trot and canter (we’re still working on the walk). Increasing and decreasing circle sizes and transitions. But, he put his energy into that.

By this time the procedure was over and the horse was lying “dead” on the ground. We let Nay glance over for a moment or 2 before I hopped on and we began our work at the far end of the ring, away from the corpse.

Honestly? He was good. We had some really nice trot work, even continuing down close to the dead horse area. Cantering was decent, but to the left, there was a lot of enthusiasm. Enthusiasm similar to Sunday. So, lots of head tossing and all that. It turns out that, at this point, I need to just ignore this and let him toss his head and make whatever fuss he wants to make so that he can establish a pace on his own without me micromanaging. I sometimes get too involved and my trainer just wants me to let him take care of himself. Part of it is he’s looking for me to take the control and is becoming dependent. A few rides with me just not riding every stride should take care of this. As I was reminded, all he does is toss his head. He doesn’t move his hind end AT ALL. So, unless he takes off, let him figure it out. Like everything else, this should be short lived. We actually held the canter for a while, including several trips over an awkwardly placed pole, maintaining the lead (pole was across the center, but at an angle).

To the right, we struggle with a counter bend. Last week we discussed my need to pick up the lead a throw my head down to check, losing the canter, the lead, and ending up with the wrong lead in quick succession. Part of it is that Nay has developed this habit of throwing his hind end to the outside and once I feel that I panic and know I won’t get the lead. The advice I received was pretty much as follows: get the bend (if possible), outside leg/spur IMMEDIATELY followed by both calves. Only after we’re moving forward can I check my lead (I say this because I can easily feel the lead, but I NEED TO LOOK ANYWAY BECAUSE I NEED TO — don’t ask… old habits). Since I started doing this, our right lead success rate has improved dramatically. In fact, we picked the lead up Tuesday when we were counter bent (we had the bend, lost it, and STILL got the lead. Part of it was that I was confusing Nay by unintentionally pulling him out of the canter as he was stepping up into it. So, issue not fixed, but getting better? We had to work on bend in the canter, but it was better. I’m not sure why we’re struggling so much this way when we were so strong. Body work in the future? Need to find someone and $$ under a couch cushion. Pole work was harder this way but successful and we maintained the lead.

And jumping. This was hard. We trotted singles at the far end of the ring. Dead horse started to wake up so there was some action, but mostly Nay wanted to be a jumper and wanted to play. I struggled with the balance between slow and actually moving forward (vs up and down). We started with a small vertical off the left, landed, then approached from the right. We did that a few times, keeping the playing to a minimum.

Next? We did our stone boxes, landing and halting. First time I really struggled coming in as the balance between too slow (not stop slow but need put too much effort based on pace) and I want to bolt/side step/hop towards it. Then, based on too much jump, I didn’t quite release enough and we played on the landing. Second time was better paced but still playing coming it. But the pace allowed for a better jump, better release, and more control on the landing.

We called it there and decided we’d just live to jump another day.

Honestly? It could have been worse. After all? How many people ride with a dead horse next to the ring? By the end of the ride, the dead horse disappeared and Nay could NOT figure out where he went…