Nay Nay gets enough post around here.
It’s about time the Original Chestnut gets his own post again.
For the last few weeks, Subi has been pretty miserable. It’s been hot, but not that hot. And then it got pretty hot. Either way, he was miserable and sweaty and sporting a pretty decent old man summer coat (yet, his winter coat is pretty pathetic). The last straw was a humid morning when he was sweaty at 7am.
So, I made a decision last week that I was going to clip him on Saturday. Or at least TRY and clip him.
You see, Subi and the clippers have never really gotten along.
In almost 15 years of ownership, I’m never actually clipped any part of him. Tried? Yes. Clipped? No. So a full body clip shouldn’t be an issue, right?
Armed with a few CCs of ace, Subi got a bath on a cool (yes, it’s been cool since Saturday) Saturday morning before we tackled step one: earplugs. See, he hates the sound of the clippers so I thought that they might help. Start laughing here, please.
Subi 1, Me/clippers 0
I abandoned them and just moved on.
Then I walked him up the clippers and thought, maybe he’s matured at 23? Hahahaha. I let him sniff them and he looked at me, bored and started snacking on alfalfa.
Then I turned them on. BAM. Horse flying backwards.
Subi 2, Me/clippers 0.
But, see, I don’t give up, even when holding a fire breathing dragon. Dammit, this horse is getting clipped, even if it kills both of us.
Enter, lip chain.
Enter pissed off, FIREBREATHING DRAGON.
Enter more stubborn human.
Enter screaming horse who lives up to his, er, NAY…me. YOU AREN’T HELPING.
Score: Subi 2, Me/clippers 0, Nay Nay 0. Last round was a draw.
Goal: stepping on driveway. I win! Goal: Walking past clippers (they’re off), BUT THEY BITE. Eventually, SUCCESS! Then walking past them on. We got there.
Subi 2, Me/clippers 1
Then I picked them up… Shit.
Then it was ok. Until I held them up to him. HAHAHA.
Then I held them to my face of all things. And my arm. And suddenly he was OK? And next thing I know, he lets out a breath and I’m clipping him.
Subi 2, Me/clippers 2
If life was kind, I’d end here. Once we started, Subi was actually fabulous. While I kept the lip chain on the entire time, after about 10 minutes of clipping, Subi ground tied and let me clip him that way.
Except then my Andis clippers decided that they wanted to die on me.
Subi 2, Me 2, Andis Clippers 1
And I had to pull out my freaking Oster Clipmasters which I have because they are the only thing that I can clip Jiminy with. And thankfully Subi accepted his fate because these things are loud and clunky… Except I didn’t have a sharp blade so we struggled some because I wasn’t planning to use these….
Subi 2, Me 2, Andis 1, Clipmasters 1…
Still, I managed to get him clipped between both pairs (I saved the Andis for his legs/smaller places but I’m pretty sure the motor might be shot thanks to Jiminy…). And Subi was a saint once he accepted his fate. It’s not a perfect job (I skipped his head and there are a lot of lines), but he’s definitely cooler. But at least I know I can clip him!
I wonder what Nay will be like to clip…
Final score? Subi 2, Me 3 (hey, I succeeded!), Andis 1, Clipmaster 1, Nay Nay 0