Subi and I are on different pages when it comes to medication.

Or food.

I’ll be watching you… 

But let’s talk medication. He just KNOWS when I have poison.

But, over the years, I’ve become more successful because, sneaky doesn’t work.

But, let’s talk talk specifically about dewormer, because, we HATE dewormer.

I could really use the dental contraption to help with deworming, just saying…

In the past, when Subi was a young, spry, individual, deworming involved a chain, blind fold, a prayer, and quick reflexes. If I could friend someone brave and suicidal, a person willing to hold up a leg helped too. Basically, the goal was to get as much of the dewormer down his throat before rearing ensued. Sometimes holding a leg up helped, sometimes it was a suicide mission. Sometimes the blindfold helped, other times, ha!

Now, that we’re mature at 20, we’ve ditched the blindfold, the chain (we ditched that last year), and the leg holding (ditched when no brave idiots were “available) and found a new method–the sneak attack. OH CRAP. We’re not 20 anymore, WE’RE 21 and I JUST REALIZED IT! SHIT.

We don’t like dewormer. Dewormer is EVIL.

So, on Tuesday night, armed with dewormer and a terrible virus, I headed out post dinner to dewormer the 3 beast after dinner. The kids were separated. Batty and Jiminy together and Subi alone. I thought this would help. He wouldn’t know. I had 2 eager volunteers in the piggy clan–they just subscribe by the philosophy of eat first, think later–and deworming went off without a hitch (Jiminy is a wierdo and enjoys his dewormer a little too much).

Unfortunately, despite being NO WHERE NEAR the scene of the CRIME, Subi just KNEW what was happening (15 points Subi). My easy to catch senior who loves me more than life itself decided to play hard to get and, in the dark, frozen drylot, I wandered after him for 15 minutes while he remained just out of my reach. Damn horse. I love you too. I swear, he could smell the dewormer a mile a way.  I though the darkness would be my friend. Thwarted again (5 more points Subi).

I don’t want to know the score if Subi had friends helping or some daylight…

Finally, armed with 2 stud muffins and 5 peppermints, we reached an agreement and on his head went the halter (5 points Subi, 5 points Sarah). And there we stood while he chewed his treats while I stealthily uncapped the dewormer. Finally, after all the treats were chewed, I stepped back so that my shoulder was behind his head (I must NEVER be in front of his head of the mission FAILS and I wear the tube of dewormer). Quickly BUT QUIETLY I pushed the dewormer into the corner of his mouth and before he could react, pushed his head up as high as possible and held it there (15 points Sarah).

For the next 10 minutes, there we stood. Me holding a heavy chestnut head in one hand while rubbing his throat with the other hand, begging him to swallow while Subi stood grinding his teeth, angry that he had been foiled once again (10 points Sarah). Finally, I left go, removed the halter, and watched as my ANGRY CHESTNUT  unsuccessfully tried to cough out to AWFUL POISON he inadvertently swallowed (5 points Sarah). Entire tube consumed! No dewormer on Sarah! (50 points Sarah)

Thankfully, he forgives (though I reuse old media)

Final Score:

Sarah: 85
Subi: 25

Total gameplay: 33 minutes

Practicing our angry face…

During this time, my husband never though to send out a search party… Nice of him, right?