I’ve been highly unmotivated lately. And busy. And just haven’t felt much like blogging.

The horse world has been getting me down and I think I’m done with parts of it again. I just sort of want to run away and hide and be done with it again. If I could just hang out with my horses, take my lessons on Ranger, and go to the occasional show? I think I could be happy. But right now just doing THAT isn’t in the cards. I’m trying to be vague here. Maybe I’ll say more one day.

“Are they making fun of me?”

I taught a lot years ago. I loved it at first. It paid for a lot for me. I wasn’t experienced, but I knew enough to do what I did (or at least I thought I did, some days, I look back and wonder what the heck I was doing). But, I mostly stuck with up-downers and got students to the point where they could do more and passed them along. On safe horses, that’s probably OK. People can argue otherwise, but fine. (Side note, it was kind of cool last year at Devon, a of my very first student stopped to see if I remembered her and to say hello. Her daughter was showing in the junior hunters. I’ll take all undue credit for that! And for the very first lesson at 3 years old (and for other subsequent lessons later on) for another former student who is showing all other in the junior jumpers–granted, in her case–much credit should be given for not murdering her multiple times when she was under the age of 10…And she is reminded of this!) It’s what allowed me to have Subi, but it also burned me out. It was also the push that eventually gave me the confidence to take me horses OUT of the boarding environment. But, looking back, I hated how things were done and how I was treated. But, I did it because I needed to financially.

I started teaching again when I needed a little bit more financially assistance. It was different. But, now, a few years later, it’s not? Except it is? I barely teach (I have 4 students, mostly adult beginners, 2 teen beginners), but in the spring/summer/fall–trail rides = $$. But, there is drama now and I have enough drama with my real life (aka work) and I don’t need it! Except the little bit I make still helps cover my horse habit. Everything was fine until it wasn’t (politics). And I could be making everything up in my head, but between work and life, I just feel this big source of anxiety regarding horses now.

I really do love these boys…

So, having said all of that, I’m focusing my energy right now on what I can control. Like how awesome Ranger is (I haven’t had a lesson since Feb. 16… I was out of town, then trainer was out of town, but I got to ride him last week anyway while trainer was away and he just made me happy despite the fact that I was sick (don’t get sick on vacation, it sucks) and miserable.. .). How muchly annoying Subi is. Idiot horse decided to stop eating before vacation so we’ve gone through ANOTHER grain switch, but he’s eating well again. The feed store people think he’s insane, but are constantly trying to come up with solutions and having employee brainstorming sessions to solve his issues. But, right now, we eat. Tomorrow we might now, but that’s tomorrow’s problem. How much Batty needs to get back into work. But, when nice weather happens during the work week and arctic weather occurs during the weekend, that’s just life.

So, I’m coming up with a plan. No goals, because goals = immediate failure (yeah, about those goals on my performance appraisal… oops), but a plan because they can allow for a change in course..

Plan 2017

Subi

Spring 2017

• Ground work with rope halter
• Begin trailer loading?

Summer 2017

• Begin work under saddle
• Visit with trailer loading guru for self-loading lesson if necessary?

Summer 2017 Wishful Thinking:

• Field trips to trainer’s property?
• flat work lesson or training ride with trainer?

Batts:

Spring 2017

• Body clip
• Ground work for better manners…
• Introduce rope halter/reins
• Good Friday Paperchase at Fair Hill if I can get off work/find people to ride with
• Plenty of trail rides

New super adjustable rope halter I can’t wait to play with!

Summer 2017

• Trail rides/paper chases
• Visit new parks for rides
• continue work with rope halter/reins

Jiminy

Spring 2017

• Attitude adjustment! (Just kidding, but he needs a job!)
• Introduce bit
• Purchase surcingle/harness/etc. (any suggestions?)
• General desensitizing (He has a REALLY good brain so this will be FUN)

Summer 2017

• Introduce harness/surcingle/crupper
• start ground driving.