Fearing the end.

I think my Hayley Horse is reaching the end. I’ve thought it before, but she’s dogged too many bullets and I am pretty sure this is it. I’m holding back tears and I type this. I’m not ready, but at the same time, I can’t keep holding on. It hurts more than I can describe.

Nothing necessarily happened, but maybe that’s the issue? I pulled blankets today because it’s going to be warm and rainy for a couple of days and I’d rather everyone be in rain sheets than in medium/heavy weights. Unfortunately, in the last couple of weeks, Hayley has dropped weight. Semi significant weight. She’s fed like crazy and eats like crazy, but she can’t hold on to the weight any more. We’ve had some scares and she always pulls through, but she’s eating her weight gain regiment and she’s still loosing.

My Hayley has issues. Navicular, arthritis, and chronic diarrhea. She’s got horrible hooves and soundness issues, but she’s the world’s sweetest horse. She used to be an easy keeper but somewhere in the last few years, following a founder scare, life has just been hard. Her diarrhea has gotten worse and keeping weight on her has been hard. Now I fear it’s impossible. She looks bad. If she came out of winter looking like this, we’d have a chance. But going into winter? No way. Right now she gets almost 10lbs of triple crown senior, almost 10lbs of alfalfa cubes (pre-soaked weight), beet pulp, and about 1.5lbs of Buckeyes Ultimate Finish fat supplement. She also gets (mostly) free choice hay (free choice when a round bale is out, 20-30lbs of hay in between round bales). She’s the low end of the herd, but she’s locked up during meal times and she doesn’t leave the hay pretty much ever. There is only so much I can do.

Before I make any decisions, I’m going to give the vet a call in the morning and schedule an appointment to get blood pulled. Maybe she’s anemic. Maybe she has thyroid issues. But my gut says this is unlikely (though I can certainly hope). All I know is she can’t go into winter looking like this. But, I’m not ready to say goodbye. There’s only one Hayley Horse. I love my boys to death, but they don’t have the sweetness Hayley possesses.

2 thoughts on “Fearing the end.

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