In a rut

I’ve been struggling with this blog lately. I haven’t really known what to write. My rides have either been decent or I’ve been riding a ball of tension. I’m not entirely sure what to make of it. Overall, I’ve just been in a bit of a rut. And, when I’m in a rut, I struggle with motivation to ride which makes the problem…worse?

I’ve had some good and some bad rides, but mostly I’m just struggling TO ride.

One thing he is good at is hanging out at the trailer.

Between the weather (hot and rain and storms) and health (fly spray chemical burns and vaccine reactions — Nay is a hothouse flower plus me having some fun allergic reaction some sort of insect bite), I have not ridden consistently over the last several weeks. The less I ride, the harder it is to ride.

Over the last few months, I’ve taken fewer lessons, taking off the pressure. But, at the same time, I think I’m in a place where I need lessons to force me to ride? Or a ring at home. Since the home arena isn’t happening, lessons it is. I have one this week and 2 next week. Hopefully, this will be enough to get me back on track?

Anyway, riding now, good or bad I’m trying just to ride. And good or bad, useful or pointless, I’m also trying to blog.

9 thoughts on “In a rut

  1. I’m in the same place with riding right now, but I’m pretty zen about it. I went through something similar with CrossFit, I had done it for 6 years when I abruptly lost all motivation for it after my best friend and coach moved away. I gave myself some grace and told myself I would take as much time away from it as I needed, and if I never regained the fire for it that was okay. It ended up taking a year, but when I came back to it it was because I wanted to, and it meant so much more the second time around. Five years after that, I enter the gym with so much joy and gratitude every day, and I appreciate that you can’t be 110% on your hobbies year after year across a long life, and that’s okay. My fire for riding will come back at some point, and yours will too, but even if it doesn’t that’s okay.

    • I’ll definitely be motivated again and it comes and goes. I know it would be easier if I had a place to ride at home but I’m years away from moving to a larger farm. For now, I haul out to ride. And it take a lot out of me. Maybe when the kids are back in school, it’ll be easier.

      The other part is I don’t have goals. I’m not a goal person so I don’t like yearly goals, but I think I need SOMETHING to target. Getting both leads consistent is great, but I need more than that? I think I need to work towards something a little more concrete, especially since I don’t want to show, I need to come up with something. Maybe I need to talk to my trainer and see if we can come up with something realistic? Beyond enjoying my horse which I do by stuffing food in his face. And keeping his belly happy.

  2. I have quite a lot of things about this, particularly with the heat index close to 150 and it being close to dangerous for anyone to ride these days. I’ve realized there continues to be pressure that I put on myself (and the horses) to perform and “improve” (whatever that means). And for a hobby and when it’s this hot outside, it’s simply not tenable or safe or enjoyable for that matter. I agree with the above commenter on giving yourself the grace and time. We can all probably go a little easier on ourselves

    • I think I need guided pressure? I feel I don’t improve but I don’t have expectations and I’m not trying to achieve anything so how can I improve? Maybe I need an actual goal, however large or small, to try and achieve? Some direction? Maybe my rut is due to a lack of direction? The more I think about it the more this makes sense?

  3. The hauling out to ride thing sucks my motivation sometimes too. I really identify with Jen’s comment above, you can’t go 100% at anything forever. There’s a lot to be said for taking a break and enjoying the horses without any pressure.

    • Definitely good points. I think it’s a combination of things combined with a lack of direction. I think the issue isn’t that I’m going at 100% (I haven’t been at 100% in YEARS), but rather that I’m at 25% and I’m unmotivated at 25%. I don’t care at this point. I give my horses 100% at home but riding wise, I’m 25%. I want more pressure so I care? I took pressure off and now I have too little? I need some direction? Interesting how comments have made me realize this!

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