Defeated.

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The 3 amigos on a sunny Sunday

Defeat.

I was hoping that my vet appointment would bring answers. Instead, it just leaves more questions.

Subi definitely has cataracts, but the conclusion is that he has enough vision (basically they’re in the center of each eye, worse on the right, but similar in each eye) that he can see and it shouldn’t impact his peripheral vision…

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Jiminy was convinced I had food.

But, at the same time, he is acting like he’s seeing ghosts so they could be freaking him out and the vet agreed that he IS sensitive. We’ve seen it before. Something bothers him and he has an unexplained reaction. A tooth is SLIGHTLY sharp, he stops eating. He is chilly, he shivers uncontrollably. He doesn’t like the taste of something in his feed, he won’t eat for days even if the offending item is removed. He’s dramatic. This could just be that. His eyes could be playing a role and making him uncomfortable and he doesn’t know how to deal.

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Idiot boys just keep staring.

It could be something else. So, since he’s doing pretty well with the daylight, we’re holding off additional tests until we need them. Next stop? We’ll draw blood and test for lyme though he’s showing no sign of any other symptoms… We’re also pulling him off his equioxx for now since he’s feeling REALLY good and he doesn’t need to feel that good on a daily basis. Honestly, I don’t need him bucking, rearing, and bolting around the field like a freak regularly. He can run around but are the antics necessary? I’ll keep it on hand for when his arthritis acts up and/or the ground gets hard. But, now that it’s warmer and the ground is soft? The vet agreed we can hold off.

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Jiminy comes to visit.

Otherwise? He got his teeth and a combo vaccine. His teeth were in really good shape. Surprisingly good shape since he was due in August and we both decided to hold off because the weather was gross and hot. But, to be honest, he probably didn’t need to get floated. It was good to get him done, but very little was necessary. Despite the drugs, he expressed his disapproval. After almost keeling over drunk last time around (he actually almost fell over from his dose), he didn’t get as much so he was barely drunk this time. Just enough to do his teeth without drama (but still with protests). He has NO issue with the float, but HATES the stupid head thing that keeps his mouth open… lol.

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Freaks in action. 

Anyway, I’m feeling defeated. And I’ll be feeling broke when I get the bill. Lol. Batt and Jiminy got their vaccine and all is good in the world. Batty is in good weight?! And Jiminy is doing fine as long as he doesn’t gain (has ONE stupid fat pocket though the rest of his weight is perfect).

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Waiting for the vet with me this morning

That’s my story. I quit.

Freaks.

I have the big guys in the round pen this morning waiting for Subi’s 11:30 vet appointment. I thought this would be an easy solution. But, no, they’re freaks. They’re lunatics. They’re idiots. They’ve never seen the round pen before.

But, since I need sedation to get them moved, they’ll stay there until I transfer them to their stalls and Subi gets drugged. Idiot boys.

Collective age? 40.

Really?

Grow up.

Update tomorrow post vet regarding his eyes. He’s also getting his teeth done so I’m going to enjoy the sedative…

All is quiet*

A non-update update to basically say all is quiet*.

The vet is scheduled to come out on Monday to check on Subi and do his teeth. Hopefully we’ll have a better ideas as to what’s going on with his eyes (cataracts, uveitis, etc.).

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Biscuit wearing a scarf just because

That said, we seem to have come to an understanding. My trainer suggested leading him with my cellphone’s flashlight so I tried that last Thursday and when I shined the light on the ground, he immediately dropped his head to follow the light and his body relaxed. Since then? Everything has improved. It’s as if I finally GET what’s going on. Since Sunday (well, Saturday since I brought them in early), I’ve also had daylight on my side and he’s been even easier to deal with. Relaxed, happy, and comfortable.

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Cutest Hermione Dog Ever

In fact,  we haven’t had any issues since all of our leading now happens during daylight hours. I do notice though that he tries to identify ever sound he hears. Stop. Stare. Breathe. Reassure. Walk on. He’s reared once since Thursday when he spooked at something (I was carrying a bucket of food AND rushing AND setting us up for failure) and jumped once when Batty spooked (a separate time), but otherwise? He’s been great. He did walk into the barn wall 2 nights ago so there’s definitely some vision stuff going on. Still, now that I know I’m dealing with something and he seems to get that I’m helping him? Everything is working out.

I also removed the chain and switched him to this snazzy new halter and he’s a lot happier. I wasn’t happy with the rope halter by itself (getting it on and off quickly was an issue plus I had some other issues), but this seems to be the best of both worlds. Overpriced, yes, but definitely worth it.

I also had my first lesson back on Ranger last week. After a month without lessons (just riding) it was nice to have instruction, but my brain was on overload. I did better with my lines vs singles AFTER lines. So… I had issues maintaining pacing. When I rode on my own I just worked on singles and MAYBE connecting a couple singles together, but…

I also did a thing and bought a new pair of boots…

*By quiet I mean sort of kind of not dramatic but not sleepy either? OK?

“Why can’t you see, are you afraid to be exposed to the demons around you?”

Long and in need of advice… Pictures at bottom.

I’ve hesitated posting again until I know what’s going on. I need to get the vet out, but, with daylight savings times beginning Sunday, I want additional data before I call.

You see, things have gotten worse since I last wrote. A little worse. Then a lot worse. And by a lot worse, I mean I cried for days and thinking about how bad the other night was, I’m almost crying now.

Over the last week, Subi was OK. Not great, but OK. If I walked him in as much light as possible (under the house flood lights), he was pretty good. Not great, but fine. Over the weekend I tried to bring him in during the daylight. Things were fine. A rear or 2, but I ignored it and we were fine. Fine. Everything was fine.

The Monday happened.

He was on edge from the moment I put his halter and chain on. I’ve been using the chain because I don’t feel like I have enough control if I need it without. I have used the chain, but mostly it’s just there. We had weather overnight, but that was about it. Cold front was coming it. But that’s happened before. He was a jerk. But whatever. I got him out of the field and I wasn’t there. I had zero control.

I tried my backing and halting. Things escalated. If I touched his head, things escalated. Suddenly all that was happening was rearing and bolting. He wouldn’t stop rearing. Or bolting. He was trotting circles around me. He tripped over the septic tank viewer things and reared again. And again. And again. Somehow we kept moving and rearing and moving. I gave up trying to get his focus. The more I tried to correct or redirect, the more the behavior escalated. It was like he was in a blind panic. I don’t know how I kept a hold of him. It was like I wasn’t there.

Somehow I got him in his stall. Somehow I got the halter and lead off of him. Somehow I got the door closed. I stayed freaking calm until all that happened. No idea how and then started bawling my eyes out.

He didn’t get his liner on that night.

Next morning? Fine. Daylight. A little looky, but fine.

The following night? It was like I wasn’t there again but I kept his feet moving and didn’t give him a chance to react to anything. We just moved. So, no explosions.

Morning, fine. But, he’s staring at stuff more.

Last night? We moved them before we had dinner buckets ready to get them in while we had daylight. He spooked slightly when my dog made a noise in the field, but it was just a start and shudder (no rear or jump) and he was fine walking to his stall. But, we had daylight. Not a lot, but some.

This morning? I took pictures of his eye. He also craned his entire neck around to look at Batt. The opposite way that you would think would be normal.

One of his eyes was looking cloudy, but I didn’t see it before… One was looking fine.

I’ll be getting the vet out, but… help. Am I seeing something? I know they’re not the greatest pictures…

VS

 

Taming the dragon

I’m now convinced that Subi’s problem is energy. Too much energy. He’s exploding out of his skin thanks to winter, mud, and rain and I’m paying the price. Though I am keeping up with ulcer treatment just in case and he is eating hay again so there is that.

Friday night, he reared, again, caught his hoof in the lead rope, again, clipped his hoof on my arm, nearly knocked me over, and got loose. I told him to woah and he stood stock still until I reclaimed him and we walked the rest of the way to the barn, but he was still on edge. Up until the rear, he wasn’t good, but was reluctantly listening as we halted and backed and walked (rinse/repeat). Batt was just as pissy in front of us and eventually, revolution. Once in his stall, I told my husband I should just put him down because he’s a dangerous asshole. Not my finest moment. My husband, who actually dislikes Subi (he’s scared of him after getting kicked 7 years ago, or more actually getting behind him when he bucked), was left to talk me out of that. Michele and my friend Sandra did was well…

Close reenactment of Subi as a dragon. 

After a decent night’s sleep and a better attitude (anything is better, right?), we turned out in the morning and I thought, why don’t I keep leading him around the house until he’s bored? Haha. Yeah ok. Once Batt was in the field, Subi realized that we were going away from friends and reared as Batt let out the biggest buck I have ever seen from him (winter usually results in lame Batt… this is strange). So I abandoned that plan and walked him to the driveway instead where we couldn’t see friends and he was fine. We went to the barn for a crop but spend the better part of 30 minutes working on the driveway.

When you’re poorly behaved, your mean mom makes you work in your blanket…
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Hello! I’m not in Kansas anymore…

We trotted up and down a couple times, we did walk-trot-halt transitions, we did turns on the forehand. We even chatted with my neighbor for a while. Considering he hasn’t been up to the road (other than when he got loose) in years, he was completely relaxed. Go figure. Once he got impatient (too much chatting) we backed down the entire driveway (it’s long) working ob straightness. Then more transitions. Finally, I got bored so we went for a hike my small patch of woods where I used to use as a ring. It’s overgrown and there are trees down and branches ever. We walked through brush, over logs, and explored.

 

 

So much to look at, so many dead leaves to eat.
Poles, logs, and posing

The only conversation we had was at the end when we disagreed about crossing the 2′ log. Subi wanted to cross, I valued my life too much. He sulked.

The log in question and Subi’s disgruntled face… Idiot horse.
walking over all sorts of stuff. keeping those feet moving. Of course this log wasn’t THE LOG he wanted to go over because mean mom…

He’s been very good since. He was exhausted after our adventure and I’m going to try and get him out today. Though it’ll be abbreviated as I do have to get to work eventually and also gale force winds. Still, it’s nice to see what a little work does for Subi.

Maybe I’ll keep him around…

Ranger Recap: Wait, this isn’t Ranger…

Thanks everyone for your comments, sympathy, and feedback on Subi. I really appreciate every comment and suggestion!

Another Thursday, another week my trainer is away…

I headed out to ride and found Ranger in his stall from and earlier lesson so I tacked up and headed out to ride. Of course, there were ponies in the ring so after trying to ride and it not working, I just ended up standing around and talking with another rider on Ranger’s BFF Mikey. Then suddenly, after a while, the person teaching realized she had a lesson with Ranger. Turns out she rescheduled Wednesday lessons and forgot that I rode on Thursday… So I hopped off and completely wasted my evening (I hopped off without complaint).

Realizing that it wasn’t entirely fair (I wasn’t about to offer my saddle or girth), she suggested I hop on Forrest instead and offered to grab him from the MUDDY field for me if I did a saddle swap. So, I did that while she grabbed Forrest.

So, that was how I ended up on the big chestnut vs Ranger.

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Um, you’re not Ranger…

I didn’t exactly do much. After all, I didn’t feel like I should jump him for the first time outside of a lesson when I wasn’t exactly given permission to ride him by my trainer (not that I really jump much outside of lessons, I just usually practice a couple of fences). But, he was fun. Took a crazy amount of leg and was much closer to a Subi kind of ride than Ranger. Big trot (but not bouncy like Subi), nice canter, and long neck. Lot of leg required. And schooled up the wazoo.

Thank you Forrest for being a good boy.

When turning the boys out (Forrest and Ranger), Ranger saw me, and stopped dead. He KNEW I had the treats. I’m glad he still knows I AM THE TREAT LADY. We did share with Forrest though. Lol.

In Subi news, he was very good last night. We continued our back and halts to the barn but made sure Batt stayed in front. Then did some trotting in hand on the driveway. No clue why some days he’s better than others??? Then this morning, good again (less surprising), but then started to spook at the gate when Batt when to roll behind him (our other issue, Batty thinks rolling while heading out is acceptable). But, once he realized it was Batt, stopped mid spook once he realized it was Batt. It was almost as if he realized it wasn’t worth the energy to spook at his idiot brother.

I need help. Completely defeated.

The fire-breathing dragon needs to be tamed.

Instead of getting better, he gets worse.

Please help.

Seriously though, Subi is getting more unpredictable as the days go on. He’s generally pretty good in the mornings and pretty terrible at night. So I guess he is predictable but I can’t seem to fix it beyond that. We were better a month ago… [He’s fine in his stall. He eats, sleeps (evidence is the bedding found all over him including inside his ears), and looks generally relaxed in the morning)

Daylight used to make a difference, not now. Hard ground sometimes makes a difference, but not always. Mushy soft ground (most of the time) makes things worse.

If I do work in hand, it doesn’t necessarily make a difference in how he behaves. He’s spooky and reactive.

Generally though, if I do in hand work on the driveway before tossing him in his stall, he’s great for that. We don’t spook on the driveway even though the driveway is dark and shadowy. Unfortunately, we have to get TO the driveway in order to work there.

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Icy, slushy mess

Last night he got away from me for the first time. Not my finest moment, but I just could not hold on (it was slippery — freezing rain on top of snow made for pretty awful conditions) and he spooked at my husband and reared and I slipped and… I tried to hold on, but he got caught up in the rope and ultimately, I lost my grip. I caught him a second later, but… I’m ashamed that I lost control. I sort of kept him in check the rest of the way, but his brain was lost. Batt was screaming (seriously? Idiot horse didn’t help the situation) but we made it the rest of the way unscathed.

I need to spend a few hours just leading back and forth. Except, when we’re leading just to lead, he seems to know the difference???? We’re planning to install another gate so we can walk through the wood, but we need to cut up a fallen tree first. This will provide a darker path, but a flatter path too… I’ll take a spooking horse on flat surfaces over one on a hill any day.

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Prime…mush.

Anyway, I need help. I’m about to give up. While I don’t mean it, I feel completely defeated.

Update and help the cats please

Before I update, just wanted to put this out there. If you have a few dollars to spare, or can send a few supplies, please consider helping out. Some people I know through people I know, are working to help a cat hording situation in AZ. What was initially thought to be about 20 cats indoors and out, has turned out to be 30+ with exact numbers probably well above that. Every time they show up, more cats are there. The situation is taking significantly longer to handle too because the cats are requiring medical attention and surgery beyond just the spay/neuter. Many of the females are pregnant and have had litters. Most have giardia, many have URIs. Indoor cats have ear mites. It’s a horrific situation. Anyway, anything you can do, please do. I don’t share stuff like this often, but I am today. If all you can do is share the campaign, I’d appreciate it. If you can send a case of food, that would be wonderful! If you can donate money, they’d love that as well. If you are in Peoria AZ and can foster, please reach out.

GoFundMe the Monterosa Cat Project ($5 helps!)

Amazon Wish List for the Monterosa Cat Project (List is low now, but I’m assuming they may need more supplies)

Social Media 

img_9569In other news, I FINALLY have had a chance to hang out out with Ranger! I had a short lessons last week (I wasn’t able to do much thanks to my inability to breathe post pneumonia) and now my trainer is away for 3+ weeks at a horse show. But, I can ride during my lesson time while she’s away and thankfully I can breathe again! Nothing worth reporting on, but it was nice to ride again and work on regaining endurance. Nothing fancy, just some flat work and single, low fences. We were both exhausted after that. Lol. Ranger is a bit out of shape too…

Missed this guy so much!

Subi has sort of fallen off the wagon too. I’m not entirely sure what is going on with him. He started to adjust to coming in at night and then suddenly started tensing up, getting spooking, rearing all the time (almost on top of me one morning) and it all culminated 3 nights ago when I could not catch him for the first time in…13 years. This horse has issues, but catching isn’t one of him. And, for all his issues, he’s not spooky. Reactive? Yes, spooky no. The constant tension, stress in his eyes, and a few other things have me fearing ulcers. So, I’m trying a few things and I’ll see if we have any improvement. He’s been eating OK (well, not his hay), but at the same time… I’m trying to trust my gut. I will say I’m not scoping, even though many will say I should. He was scoped 4 years ago and I’m just not putting him through that stress again.

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Someone at work filled the candy jar with peppermints. I may have been taking handfuls for the kids… 

In addition, I’m doing some behavior modification. Teresa from Journey with a Dancing Horse recommended a leading technique that I started introducing last night. Basically, you have the horse follow and maintain the same distance. This video explains it. Probably not the best way to introduce it, but I introduced it last night, in the dark, on the driveway. We’ve been doing work on the driveway at night before heading into his stall. I think he started to get the idea. Then we followed up this morning in the round pen and led to the field that way. He seemed more relaxed (though he is better in the daylight). We did have a spook, but this one was legitimate as my dog came flying around the corner like a bat out of hell. He stayed out of my space and calmed down immediately once he realized it way Hermione so I’ll take that one as a win. Normally we have an incident and we carry tension the rest of the walk to the field. Not today.

That’s about it. Batty’s heaves are acting up, so I’m thinking I’m going to have to go the steamer route soon. I’m broke so I’ll be building one, but I was hoping to avoid it. He’s better with hay outside (despite the round bale form — my round bale guy has really good hay), it’s just the stall seems to exacerbate his issues. Oh well.

Subi and the big, tall, terrible, awesome, scary, wonderful… tarp.

I’ve alluded to having issues with Subi lately. Sometimes he’s fine leading to and from the barn. Sometimes he’s a rearing mess. I cannot for the LIFE OF ME figure out what sets him off. Maybe it’s being in a stall for the night and he just has more energy? Maybe is that there are big, tall, terrible giants in the sky scaring him to death and only he can see them? I don’t know. But honestly? I’m sick of it.

I’ve been swapping back and forth between leading him in a halter and chain and a rope halter. For a while he was overreacting to the halter/chain so the rope halter was better, but then post OMG CRAZY HORSE incident, I swapped back to the halter/chain combo as I had better control. I had been backing/halting, but I’ve limited that some as Subi has started to anticipate the backing once he misbehaves… So, he rears, halts, and then backs himself. Stupid thoroughbreds…

Anyway, I ordered some ground training books and I’ll start posting about those later. BUT Friday night I basically melted down. For no reason what-so-ever he was stupid. He hates the dark and soft ground and that combo is a perfect excuse to misbehave. So we spooked at Batt, we spooked at the giants in the sky, and we just were stupid and poorly behaved in our walk to the stall. This was AFTER we stood in the howling wind with no halter or lead rope changing blankets (WTF? I can’t do that with either of my other 2). I finally dumped him in his stall, started crying, and told him I’d sell him if I could find someone who wanted to buy him. Then fed peppermints to Jiminy and Batt… Not my finest moment.

But, I started fresh Saturday morning. The ground was frozen and he was a perfect gentleman to turnout. Prior to turnout (post reading 101 ground exercises), we working on dropping his head for a few minutes based on poll pressure (with halter assistance if needed), releasing at the first sign of compliance. He picked it us really quickly. Then turnout.

Later that day, I dumped him in the round pen and did some basic lunging. Just walk-halts for about 15-20 minutes. I reintroduced change of direction too and we worked on that for about 10 minutes. We did some turns on the forehand (both ways) which were hand with his arthritis, but I accepted effort, not perfection, and he was trying. One side was easier than the other. After a while, I realized I needed something else since there were no fireworks and decided to grab the tarp in my car.

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My plan with the tarp was to introduce it over the course of several sessions/weeks. Except, I walked it over, folded, and Subi looked at me and went back to grazing. So I dropped it by his head and he gave no shits. So I made it make noise and no response. Thanks horse. SERIOUSLY????

Next, thinking I might as well risk my life, I tossed the thing on his back and he continued to give no shits.img_9509

Then his neck. From his neck it fell over his head which was not a problem until it blocked the grass, which just required him to push it out of the way.

WHO IS THIS HORSE?????

So, I decided to make him stand on it. This took about 30 seconds mostly because he didn’t see the point.

Then we walked and lunged over it. Caveat. He was only willing to lunge to the right over it and had to be led to the left over it, but since he had no issue walking over it, I’m assuming he was tired/sore by that point.

We have 3000 problems, but tarps aren’t one of them.

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I planned to work him more yesterday, but I was tired and well, day off. Today we have snow and my university seems to want to avoid closing despite the city closing offices…