Goodbye Batthorse

I wasn’t planning on posting yet, but it’s 3 am and I find I’m suddenly awake, traumatized, and crying my eyes out.

The last 36 (well, let’s include now and make it 48) hours have been a nightmare.

Batts came in colicky Tuesday night. Eating but not. I took vitals, gave banamine, tossed him out in the round pen for grass and ultimately watched him for hours, eventually changing to hourly checks. He ate soup overnight but 4am led to a vet call, more banamine, and an agreed 8am visit.

We tubed him and by 12:30 he needed more and vet was back out. More fluids and impaction was now described as major. Tube was left in for Erik and I to give fluids in 2 hours. We did, it was fine. 2 hours later, it wasn’t. We got him to clinic at 6:15 they tried more fluids but lots of reflux so they basically pumped his stomach. He blew through 2 sedatives while we were there. He was on IV and they hoped that would help. We left and he was down in the most gut wrenching position. My last photo of him. I won’t share.

Call came at 8:20. A 2 ring hang up. I wouldn’t let him suffered. His heart rate was sky rocketing. He was miserable. They kept him comfortable enough for us to drive over (15 min) to save goodbye. When we got there the vet said she suspected he might have ruptured.

He was a shell of himself. He was barely standing, legs shaking. He hung on for hugs, ear rubs, and kisses. I said enough. He wasn’t even him. We left the stall and he went down. Still, the rest was hard to see. I tried to just focus on his hooves until it was over. So much pain even though I tried not to let him suffer.

The interns brushed out his tail and braided it after it was all over and I’ve had Subi sniff it. He’d been screaming for his best friend.

My heart is shattered into 10 million pieces. I never wanted him to go like this. He was the best, goofy, treat loving horse ever. Always ready to explore, always ready to eat, always up for a hug or an adventure.

I just want to run away.