I wasn’t planning on posting yet, but it’s 3 am and I find I’m suddenly awake, traumatized, and crying my eyes out.
The last 36 (well, let’s include now and make it 48) hours have been a nightmare.
Batts came in colicky Tuesday night. Eating but not. I took vitals, gave banamine, tossed him out in the round pen for grass and ultimately watched him for hours, eventually changing to hourly checks. He ate soup overnight but 4am led to a vet call, more banamine, and an agreed 8am visit.
We tubed him and by 12:30 he needed more and vet was back out. More fluids and impaction was now described as major. Tube was left in for Erik and I to give fluids in 2 hours. We did, it was fine. 2 hours later, it wasn’t. We got him to clinic at 6:15 they tried more fluids but lots of reflux so they basically pumped his stomach. He blew through 2 sedatives while we were there. He was on IV and they hoped that would help. We left and he was down in the most gut wrenching position. My last photo of him. I won’t share.
Call came at 8:20. A 2 ring hang up. I wouldn’t let him suffered. His heart rate was sky rocketing. He was miserable. They kept him comfortable enough for us to drive over (15 min) to save goodbye. When we got there the vet said she suspected he might have ruptured.
He was a shell of himself. He was barely standing, legs shaking. He hung on for hugs, ear rubs, and kisses. I said enough. He wasn’t even him. We left the stall and he went down. Still, the rest was hard to see. I tried to just focus on his hooves until it was over. So much pain even though I tried not to let him suffer.
The interns brushed out his tail and braided it after it was all over and I’ve had Subi sniff it. He’d been screaming for his best friend.
My heart is shattered into 10 million pieces. I never wanted him to go like this. He was the best, goofy, treat loving horse ever. Always ready to explore, always ready to eat, always up for a hug or an adventure.
I just want to run away.
Three Chestnuts 
I’m so so so sorry.
Oh, lady. I am so, so, so sorry. How incredibly tragic. I hope you were able to get some more sleep last night after this post. Waking up feeling so utterly lost and broken is one of the worst feelings. I hope you are able to find some solace in the days and weeks to come. He was a lucky boy to have you and I’m certain he knew you did all you could for him.
I am crying over this. I am so sorry. And those words sound so hollow. Thank you for taking such amazing care of him. Thank you for loving him and being with him at the end. You did all you could. Life just fucking sucks some times. I wish I was there to give you a hug and cry with you. But know that I am with you virtually.
So heartbroken for you ❤ what a special horse who was lucky to have you fighting for him through thick and thin. So very sorry you had to say good bye 😦
</3 Loving horses is the best and worst thing ever. Thinking of you and crying with you this morning.
I’m so, so sorry.
It’s heart wrenching when they go. You did everything you could for him – you did everything right. He was lucky to have you ❤
I’m so sorry. You gave him a great life and always thought of him first. Thanks for sharing him with us.
I’m so sorry, how awful, there really are no words. Sending you the biggest virtual hug today.
I am so sorry. ❤
I’m so sorry. It sucks that that is the last memory you have of him. It will change with some time and his goofy face will be the first thing in your memory when you think of him. You’ll get there.
I’m so, so sorry! What a horrible thing! Try to hold on to how much you loved him in the time you had!
Oh no… I am so, so sorry.
I don’t know how I missed this post. I am so so sorry about Batt ❤ I am so sorry that you had to say goodbye to him like that. So heartbroken for you ❤
Oh Sarah, I’m so so sorry. Hugs